I would like to introduce myself. I am your caregiver. I care for your Lipedema, and any other health problems you may have. We will share a very close and intimate relationship.

This letter’s purpose is to understand your needs, and the needs I have as your caregiver. This will improve my caregiving and the quality of care you receive. I may be your spouse, a family member, a friend, or an outside agency. It is possible there may be more than one caregiver. The roles we perform are personal care, grocery shopping and cooking, housework, paying bills, and the list continues.

There is something called Caregiver Stress Disorder. This is an important issue that would affect me and you also. It basically means that I must take care of myself as well as taking care of you. The signs are always associated with lack of self-care.

These characteristics of understanding both sides of the relationship will help make us closer, more stable, and with more communication between us.

Please review “The Seven strategies for caregivers.”

I appreciate your time. I hope this will be helpful for both of us.

~ A Caregiver

 1. Define My Role

I needed to define my new life's role so I labeled myself as a caregiver, someone who offers help. I saw that as different from a caretaker, someone who tries to take control of a patient, an enormous task with potentially devastating results. Defining my role gave me the only positive control possible - how I see myself.

2. Choose an Outlook

My role and responsibilities as a caregiver have made my life different, not better or worse. This outlook gives me endless hope and possibilities for a fulfilling life.

3. Notice and Appreciate Little Things

Because life is now different, I'm learning there are so many little things I miss or don't take time to enjoy when I'm in a hurry and get caught up in caregiving. Those little things become greater blessings: a car ride on a hot day with the windows down and the air conditioner blasting, a brief visit with a friendly and funny neighbor, watching hummingbirds at my feeder, or sitting on my porch in the morning or evening and taking in the sights and sounds and smells of the day.

4. Self Care

I'm learning to recognize when I'm tired or frustrated or irritated, so I try to pace myself to avoid burnout, which includes making time for myself. I'll rest or bathe or talk with a friend or go thrift store shopping or engage in any other activity I enjoy. Caring for myself helps me be a more energetic and enthusiastic caregiver.

5. Communicate

I tend to internalize my thoughts. As a caregiver, that trait has been detrimental to my mental and emotional health, especially when I'm feeling overwhelmed so I'm learning to acknowledge my anxieties when they arise and talk about them and express my needs.

6. Empathy

I recognize that the person I'm caring for may feel like a burden sometimes or even regularly. That awareness helps me be more understanding and find ways to verbalize positive attributes about him that I enjoy. I also try to communicate that my presence, time, and energy are gifts I willingly offer.

7. Maintain and develop relationships

Caregiving often demands an intense, time-consuming relationship with just one person. I am learning the value of maintaining prior friendships, along with establishing new ones. I do small, simple things to make this happen: a quick note or phone call, a brief visit, sharing baked goods, or sharing vegetables and flowers from my garden. As the number of people I interact with expands, my perspective on my troubles changes. Not only do I get a break from a concentrated output of energy, but I also get new insights into someone else's life, including their joys and sorrows. They share anecdotes and tips and tricks about topics big or little, critical to my well-being, or just funny and entertaining. Consequently, I learned better ways to handle my stress, and I learned I am not alone. Everyone struggles with something, and receiving a good piece of advice or sharing a laugh together helps ease burdens.

Please use these Seven Strategies to guide how you care-give.